Sunday, April 17, 2005

Irony?

Saw an old man in the supermarket with a t-shirt that said "Drunk chicks think I'm hot".

Irony? Sarcasm? Vanity? Distorted body image? Poor English skills?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Billings, Part II: Threat to national security

Billings is in Montana.

It is not the capital, though. That is Helena.

Great Falls is also a city in Montana.

Malmstrom Air Force Base is in Great Falls. You may be interested in the following memo:

Malmstrom AFB,
Montana
Spring, 1966

Just after a shift change, during routine checks of Minuteman missile launch capability, the two launch officers in the underground launch facility discovered that ten missiles had suddenly gone into a "no-go fault condition" in their guidance and control systems. The reason for the failure was never discovered, but above-ground personnel reported seeing UFOs over the missile silos.


Lest you lose heart, remember:

"The conspiracy can be defeated. The Insiders are not omnipotent. It is true that they control important parts of the federal government, high finance and the mass media. But they do not control everything, or the vise would have already been closed. We might say that the conspiracy controls everything but you. You are their Achilles heel if you are willing to fight." (Gary Allen, 1971, "None dare call it conspiracy", Concord Press.)

Godspeed, fellow Earthlings. I love you all.

Billings, Part I: Nobody likes poems

Billings is in Montana.

The local paper is the Billings Gazette.

There is a columnist named Ed Kemmick who writes a column called "City Lights".

He gives the following advice (quoting some guy named Tony) for bloggers:

nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.


So edgy, so wise.

Here's a poem (I think it's incredible):

The Girl from Billings

Gina!
What was it like, growing up in Billings?
Were there tornados, droughts, danger,
or was it more
drinking in pickup trucks
and cheering for football teams?

Gina,
I enjoy the dark hair
on your lower back.
But I am afraid of your brother
(Bill)
ever since he ran that guy down
on his 4-wheeler.

We should move to a place,
Gina,
with city lights.
Not big ones (city lights)
but just enough so it's hard
to see the stars.

Know what I mean?

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Murder, mayhem, the media and me

This has been a tumultuous week. Last Saturday, I was awoken in the middle of the night by a guy trying to break into my bedroom (the back door of the apartment is in this room). Then my girlfriend's sister had a lovely baby. Sadly, a close friend of their family killed himself the next day. The pop-culture backdrop to all of this has of course been the slow deaths of Terri Schiavo and the Pope (still hanging on - barely - at the time of this writing). And then last night, an event to really close out the week with a bang.

I was waiting for my friend S.G. to pick me up to go to a potluck dinner. I was watching for him through the living room window, playing the guitar. A few minutes before he arrived, I heard several loud cracking sounds, in quick succession. My first thought was gunshots, but I talked myself out of this possibility, just based on the sheer improbability. Besides, I was right near the window and, knowing my neighbours, I knew that people would be out on their balconies and looking out their windows if there had been an incident. The street was quiet.

S.G. pulled into the driveway a few minutes later. As I got in the car, I saw two children running down the street, clearly upset and scared. I mentioned this to my friend, and then started to tell him about the noises I had heard, starting to wonder out loud if there was a connection. But a few seconds later, we pulled up to the intersection of Ash and Favard, in front of the Community Clinic, and saw a crowd of people gathered around a man lying in the street. S.G. is a doctor, and I asked him if he wanted to get out and help. He parked the car and we hurried over. I was slightly in front of him, and I could see it wasn't good; the guy was lying in a large pool of his own blood, which was already going thick and gummy on the pavement. He had been shot in the neck and had bled out extremely quickly. A nurse from the clinic had come out and was attending to him (the doctors had already left for the day). Neither she nor my friend could get a pulse. I could see that the man's face was blue from anoxia.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and S.G. pronounced him dead at the scene. They threw a blanket over his body.

This morning, I walked over to where this had happened to see if the area was still roped off (at midnight when I went to bed, 6 hours after this happened, the cops were still down there investigating). The body was of course long gone, but his blood was still there. It was thick and brown and looked like wet, decaying leaves in the autumn or wet cardboard. It was raining lightly, just starting to rain for real, and the rain was slowly quickening the blood, turning it red again, and it was starting to run into the gutter. It looked thin and runny like the blood on the cellophane red meat comes wrapped in.

There were some reporters from TQS there. They wanted to interview me, even though I played dumb (I knew a bit about the circumstances of the crime from a subsequent conversation with my neighbour, a native of the neighbourhood who knew the dead guy, and I knew details from S.G. from his discussions with the cops and medics). The journalist was obscene in her quest for tabloid details. "Did you see him get shot?" No. "But he was still bleeding a lot when you got there, right?" No, he was dead. "Was their un environnement de peur among the people gathered?" No, I think they were just sad. "It was street gangs, right?". No. I don't know.

Hopefully I was useless to her and they won't use the footage. Those people are producing entertainment, not journalism. At any rate, a shooting in a poor neighbourhood will hardly be a blip on the radar, given the impending illumination of the purple cross.